Another Look at Grace

I was recently re-reading Surprised By God: A Journey of Divine Discovery *and the chapter on grace always strikes me.  As Christians, most of us have heard the story of the prodigal son a thousand times.  We could probably tell it in our sleep if we were asked.  The way it usually goes is:

There was a rich guy who had two sons.  One son was very faithful to his father, working hard and never asking for anything.  The younger son was selfish and rebellious.  He asked his dad for his share of the family inheritance early so he could go live it up in Las Vegas (or whatever the equivalent was at the time).  The father gave the younger son the money and he quickly blew through it on women, wine, and gambling.  Once he was out of money he was ashamed and knew he couldn’t possibly return home.  So he took a job feeding pig and slept in a barn.  He ate whatever he could steal from the pigs.  Eventually, he got sick of it and decided to return home with an attitude of humility, offering to become one of the family’s servants if he would be allowed to come back.

The father welcomed the young son home with a huge party, asking the older son to find the best calf and lamb to eat.  He exclaimed to the party, “my son was dead and now he is alive again!”  The older son was ticked off and resented the younger brother.  The dad told him not to be so angry.  Everyone lived happily ever after.  The end.

The point of the story is usually that no matter how badly we mess up, God will forgive us if we ask.  Grace.  The totally undeserved gift of forgiveness and love.  We’re supposed to feel reassured and sermons usually point out that our heavenly father is eternally kind and loving.

But in Rich Blue’s book, we see that the older son also needed, and received, grace from his father.  If you look at the older son’s attitude, it is one of resentment and hostility.  Rich points out that this son wasn’t being honest, he wasn’t in a deeply connected relationship with his father.  It wasn’t that he was so great and genuinely engaged in the work of his father’s house.  It was that he was trying to avoid being in trouble or doing anything wrong.  He was making an attempt to earn his father’s affection and approval.  So when he saw that his younger brother, who had royally messed up, was on equal footing with him, it was very upsetting.  Why did he even bother to do all the hard work and walk the straight and narrow path if he was going to get the same treatment as his rebel brother in the end?

This take on the story gives me a new perspective and definitely pause for thought.  What are my motivations for doing (or not doing) things?  Am I volunteering at church because I genuinely want relationships or am I doing it because I want to check an item off my “be a good Christian” list?  And am I trying to make a “dirty deal” with God by doing the right things?  It’s easy for us, as Christians, to do this unconsciously.  We read our bibles, join church groups, and volunteer at Christmas so that we can feel good about ourselves.  All we ask in return is that God blesses us with safety, financial security, and health.

With that mindset, it becomes all too easy to change our minds about God the moment something goes wrong.  When we see “bad people” getting good things, when we lose our job when we have a child with devastating health or developmental problem.  We blame God because he didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.  We were being good for no reason!

So today I am praying for grace and for an attitude shift.  I am so grateful that God forgives us when we do really rebellious things, that has been a huge relief in my own life.  But I am also beginning to see that I should be even more grateful that what God really wants, what he ultimate requires of us, is that we give him our full attention and heart so that we can be in relationship with him.

I don’t think God cares how often we volunteer or how much tithe we give if our hearts aren’t in it.  No amount of “doing” is going to get us the result we want in the spiritual realm.  We are being asked to be present, to be open, and to be humbly in a relationship.  If we can work towards those goals, both with God and with the people around us, we can truly experience the abundant grace that God intends for his people.

From former CLE staff therapist, Megan Blazek Harang, LCPC

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*To purchase Surprised by God: A Journey of Divine Discovery directly from CLE please contact office manager Steve by emailing him at Steve.Nicoloff@cle.us.com